ouuuch!

things are okay GREAT right now.
last night, for a little while, not so much.

now, they are fine. which is the way they should be!!

—————————————————

so, this person ate lunch with us today, finally.
i’ve heard things from kendra and nick, but are they true?
in a way, i hope so. aww.
also, how embarrassing would that be!
but seeing the look on someone’s face; now that would be totally worth it.

but that’s actually really rude, that last sentence.
but still true!

anyway, time is running out, i kinda don’t want to wait anymore.

——————————————–

i have a debate tournament at springfield tomorrow!
hoooooorayyyyy!!!
i love some of those people.
especially taylor, ALIVEA, and maribel.
taylor is just… taylor!
maribel cracks me up sooo much
and alivea is the BEST debate partner ever, for real.
((we have so many inside jokes, like STAIRS and mushroom head))
and its a really unique friendship to have with someone. its like no other. : )

we are going to have so much fun and take so many pictures!

oh yeah… and maybe debate a little bit!

—————————————————–

OUUUCH.

so here’s the story.
for some reason, el autobus decided NOT to come pick us up after school??
is that legal?

anyway, then i was just standing there talking to morgan,
and we were discussing how we would get home
(this happens to be the only day of the week my mom works late)
and then i saw… dun dun dun duhhhhh… jeremy!
and i said “O HAY JEREMY can you give me a ride home”

and he said “ok”

so then we walked to his car which didn’t turn out to be his car cause he parked somewhere else and then we walked to his car which was indeed his actual real car.

and then i got in… and shut my middle three fingers in the door
at first i just looked at it for a few seconds.
then it kicked in that i should open the door.

the end.

its been a while

i almost forgot i have this!

anyway, things are okay, other than some things that i’d rather not deal with but unfortunately have to.
i will also go as far as to say all of these things involve a certain gender called the male species.
ughhhhhhhhhh.

one is obsessive
one won’t move on all of the sudden
one is okay and i thought they were okay but now i don’t know anymore?

is there such thing as life being easy? no.

can i have this dance

Take my hand, take a breath
Pull me close and take one step
Keep your eyes locked on mine,
And let the music be your guide.

Won’t you promise me (now won’t you promise me, that you’ll never forget)
We’ll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next

It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It’s one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Take my hand, I’ll take the lead
And every turn will be safe with me
Don’t be afraid, afraid to fall
You know I’ll catch you through it all

And you can’t keep us apart (even a thousand miles, can’t keep us apart)
‘Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are

It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
It’s one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Oh no mountains too high enough, oceans too wide
‘Cause together or not, our dance won’t stop
Let it rain, let it pour
What we have is worth fighting for
You know I believe, that we were meant to be

It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you (like you)
It’s one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do)
And with every step together, we just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance (can I have this dance)
Can I have this dance

Can I have this dance
Can I have this dance

————————————————

high school musical was great!
made me kind of sad though.
troy and gabriella were so in love with eachother.

why can’t i find someone like that?

all we are

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn’t fit you, and all along
You were shaded with patience, and strokes of everything
That I need just to make it, and I can see that…
Lord knows I’ve failed you, time and again
But you and me are all right

We won’t say our goodbye’s, you know it’s better that way,
We won’t break, we won’t die, it’s just a moment of change
All we are, all we are is everything that’s right
All we need, all we need, a lover’s alibi

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would have fit
I figured there’s nothin to lose, I need to get
Some perspective on these words, before I write them down
You’re an island and my ship has run aground

Lord knows I’ll fail you time and again,
But you and me we’re alright

We won’t say our goodbye’s, you know it’s better that way,
We won’t break, we won’t die, it’s just a moment of change
All we are, all we are is everything that’s right
All we need, all we need, a lover’s alibi

And every single day that I can breathe,
You change my philosophy,
I’m never gonna let you pass me by

So don’t say our goodbye’s, you know it’s better that way,
We won’t break, we won’t die, it’s just a moment of change
All we are, all we are is everything that’s right
All we need, all we need, a lover’s alibi

------------------------------------------

soo. i’ve had that song in my head lately. i really like it

annnd speaking of music, i now have an ipod nano (3rd generation)
i got it the day the new ones came out. haha. oh well i’m excited!!!

but i really need dad to get itunes set up but there’s some problem :(   :(

hopefully tonight i can go to tyler’s or something.
band was cancelled and i don’t want to go to the football game
its raining.

kendra wants us all to go to the movies but tyler kind of asked me to come over first
but now sisterhood of the traveling pants is on the square so i think i would like to go see that
with my girl friends.
maybe tomorrow? or tonight. who knows maybe things won’t work out with going to tyler’s house anyway.

you’re not supposed to eat it, you know

umm… well not too much is crackin.

school’s been alright. i almost wish we had evening band tonight. i don’t usually mind thursdays.

later is open house at school i guess.
then i have to go babysit ada and claire and tomorrow i have to babysit bryce and kale which kind of sucks since its a friday night and who likes to spend their friday night babysitting, looks like even parents don’t but tyler can’t go to santacaligon until saturday anyway so i guess i don’t really care. ever heard of a run-on sentence? but by saturday i should be at least 60 dollars richer which is never bad.

speaking of someone coughcough i think i’ve been really awful to him but its kind of not my fault. i’m trying to learn how to let someone in again and its hard but i think he understands. maybe sometime i’ll hold his hand at school lol.

in case anyone who might be reading this is wondering what the eff the title is about, i guess i should explain. we did an experiment in biology and apparently moses felt he wasn’t getting enough attention and so proceeded to scoop up corn starch and water with his hands into his mouth. also known as he ate the experiment. he sure got some attention after that. oh “deep throat daniel.”

anyway now i’m home doing just about nothing other than playing solitaire and listening to shakira. ha ha.

my last day of summer

wow, do i feel bad about forgetting about this!

anyway, its friday, august 15th. 11:43 am.
school starts on monday.

i have too much to do today:
-pack for confirmation retreat that i have tomorrow/sunday.
-read and answer the questions to anthem… probably should have done that earlier
-do some laundry
-babysit my sister’s friend and her brothers

its been a pretty busy week. eyebrow wax and haircut & color, yesterday
sports physical was tuesday
soccer practice every sunday, monday, and wednesday of the summer

um… there’s been a lot of drama too… i guess its done now
but i feel bad because i don’t know what i’m supposed to be doing
in this new situtation. hopefully i will get that figured out with time.

feelings feelings

i haven’t liked anyone in a long time.  i haven’t allowed myself to. i didn’t want to get hurt.

and i still don’t, obviously. but sometimes certain feelings are unavoidable.

i like someone now. i hate to admit it. admitting it makes me feel too vulnerable. i’m not supposed to be subject to that sort of feeling.

everything about him is pretty darn near perfect.

tan, strong, athletic, good looking, smart, funny.
yeah, we hear those all the time.

however, he’s also extremely caring and friendly.
he’s not a jerk. i’ve liked people who have been complete jerks to me.

he’s insightful.
he’s not just your average guy, who cares about little other than himself.
you get the feeling that there’s a lot more to him than you see. there’s got to be.

but he has values. something a lot of people don’t have at this age.

he goes to church.
he doesn’t drink or smoke, and he’s proud to tell anyone who will listen how stupid he thinks those are.
he’s musically talented.

what more could you want.

when he looks at you, he gives you his complete attention and nothing else matters.
no matter who you are
he can make you feel like you are important.

i do not usually feel special at any given moment. he changes that.

when he looks at me, i want to look away
because i am afraid he will realize, by looking at me, that i’m not all that great
by looking away, i can hold on to the illusion that has come over him
just a little longer

what is it about him? this is so different

i hope he never sees this.
he would know who he is.

and i can’t stand people knowing when i like them.
its like they can guess what i’m thinking at any time.

i hate feeling like i’ve been figured out.

———————————

i’ve been figured out, i would say,
not necessarily bad though

yesterday. sitting behind the bleachers.

faces so close together, looking into his green eyes

can you take a guess what happened?

——————————–

update: weeks later:

turns out he wasn’t worth a second of my time.

stuuuuff

florida–> was amazing. nuff said.

i had so much fun with my friends at disneyworld.

all of us got a lot closer during the other experiences as well, such as the 24 hour bus rides and the marching-in-100-degree-weather-in-a-very-hot-uniform.

since i’ve been back, i’ve gone to summer school for two days. it’s okay. keyboarding is harder than expected but not like hard hard.

weightlifting has definitely been interesting. all those truman guys. goodness.
several of them have asked for my number, asked what i’m doing tonight, and used a variety of awful pick-up lines.

but they’re obviously friendly so i guess that’s not too bad.

soccer will probably be consuming my whole summer.
6v6 on sundays, clinics on mondays and tuesdays, more 6v6 on wednesdays.
(i’ve heard some disturbing news about this sunday’s 6v6 game from bethany and hopefully her information is incorrect)

and thennnn soccer tryouts for my club team, for one week monday through friday, for 3 hours a day. gahh. can’t wait : P

here’s some nice stuff, i’ve lost 10 pounds since before i went to florida :D

today was a pretty good day for reasons that i will not be going in to.

peace

lastday

ok, so i know this is retarded. but i was kinda sad today.

there was no need for it. its just hard to believe the first year is all over.

no more amazing english class :( probably the saddest thing

today was so pointless. each class for 30 minutes, and doing nothing in each.
then AFTER last block was the 50 minute lunch. why.

chris wanted me to give him a hug after school but i said no. he was mad about that but he’d been trying to get an opportunity to grab my butt all day and i was not going to give in to that.

mr spanish teacher promised ever since february that he would give us back our valentines we made. he finally gave mine back since i gave him so much crap but it was all dirty on top! balls!

the good news is i got A’s on all my finals. heckyeah.

i still have too much packing to do for florida tomorrow.
my mom is going to take us to taco bell after she gets home from picking up carrie.

then we have a bit more shopping to do.

i can’t believe its only 2:03.

we have some questions

well, a couple friends and i have noticed some things lately

we know how it looks from the outside
and i got a point of view from the inside

so, what’s the truth? should we be concerned?